Phone Call Strategist Pillows

'I need time to consider your fabulous offer - Give me your number and I'll call you back tomorrow night at dinner.'

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

I'm going to put you on hold. We're having problems with our hold music so I'll just hum.

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"May I remind you that we can always go with duck eggs."

'The King of what?'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"Before you ask for a raise, I need you to be aware I've got a map of your brain on my mobile."

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

...the onion rings

Lawn mower - must get longer cable

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'Right...we've agreed to mediation to decide whether or not we go to mediation!'

'Your ego seems to be your primary problem.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"O.K., Jimbo, let's dance with wolves."

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"You're going to love this app...Find My Bone."

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

"Look, everyone here loves vanilla, right? So let's start there."

'Another setback - the mediators just went out on strike.'

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

"Ok, if we could just synchronise chairs..."