Smartphone Strategist Pillows

Quantity over quality

"You're going to love this app...Find My Bone."

"...then sell all my pork bellies, and buy steel."

"Ok, if we could just synchronise chairs..."

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

All the apps hidden within a phone

'See here, Flanigan ? what's this I hear about you going over my head to the computer?'

Internet Cafe.

A tourist struggling with loads of luggage

"This trip, we'd like to go everywhere our luggage goes."

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"Wait...... I'm in the bathroom for one minute and you answer my wife's 'Where are you' text with..... 'I'm in a bar with Pete, checking out chicks, foxes and a cute little beaver'??"

'He's working on the great American requirements document.'

"DID YOU SEND THIS?"

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

'Computer editing software with an obnoxious ego.' 'Look, you really don't want to say that, do you?'

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"It seems our new computer system is allowing us to implement idiotic ideas ten times faster than we've previously been able to!"

After paying the IT consultants we didn't have enough left for proper laptops!

"At these prices, what do you expect?"

'Technology is wonderful. It makes your people so much easier to use.'

"When they said I'll get unlimited calls and texts with my new mobile contract, I didn't realise they would all be from PPI insurance companies....."

"Holding an open contest on social media and announcing the winner may not be the most secure way to pick a password."

Texting eye dog

'Sales are down. We tried to make the latest version, of our best selling software, foolproof. Apparently, someone was making better fools.'

'Ideally, I'd like a job where my multi-application cell phone will do all the work.'

"You no longer have to worry about me dropping my phone. The new phone comes with an airbag."

How corporate data wizards decide it's time to re-vamp everything...

Consumer care and technologies

"Great! Now I'm torn between whether to post rants on X or Meta."

"My new mobile phone makes me feel so space age!"