Phone Call Pro Pillows

"I have a customer on the line, but I'm not trained in what to say to them!"

The merger is off.

"We will have to go back. The dog wants to go out."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'The King of what?'

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'I'm sick of answering the phone - half the time, it's about business!'

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Hey Joe!...Me? Oh,nothing much,just out walking the fish.And you?...'

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'I'd love you to come round, Samantha - but I'm sipping my cocoa all ready for sleepy bo-bos.'

"Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is less than five hours."

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

...the onion rings

"I don't think he can touch your in-the-dirt ball."

'Jenny can't come to the phone, she's naked. Only joking, mate. Wrong number.'

Telework Pants

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

'Thank you for calling the bullpen,,, To continue in English, Press one,,,'

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Heaven on the Phone to Hell - 'We've got Sky.'

'This is Jake. I'm not in now, so please leave a message...HELLO! HELLO! This is Jake! Ha! Ha! Ha! I'm just mesin' with you! I'm still NOT in!'

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

Collar I.D.

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."