Phone Call Expert Gifts

Listen to a lot of phone pitches while I'm at work?

"Linda, when answering the phone it's 'Edward Case, Psychiatrist' not Ed Case..."

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

'The King of what?'

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

"Why didn't we think of that?"

"Yes, we do fix phones. But, what is that?"

Ins and Outs of Sex Therapy

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

"Hi...I was just phoning to see if you got my e-mail?"

'Federal Bureau of Technological Compliance - May I help you?'

'Every time a phone dies, he buries it.'

'... Press 7 to admit defeat...'

...the onion rings

'I'll be late for dinner - a shelf fell on me.'

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

"We will have to go back. The dog wants to go out."

Collar I.D.

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

'When a caller asks for me, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop saying 'who'?'

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

"He wants to know if I'm alone."

Woman on the phone while her kids cause chaos in the background.

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

Dog Chatlines...

"Unfortunately, the worker bees have also gone remote."

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"