Phone Call Enthusiast Gifts

"O.K., I'm sitting. What is it?"

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

Our menu has changed. To hear this message again, press 1. To hang up, press 2.

Telemarketing Center: Help wanted. It's not a job - it's a calling.

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

'Look, buddy, I'm a busy man -- stop calling me up and saying 'blub, blub, blub'!'

'I absolutely concur with your opinion: that I am an over scripted, brain dead moron, who is wasting your time!'

"It's me, darling, we're out of toilet paper."

"I can't talk now, I've got someone holding on the other line."

...the onion rings

"You know I'm not a telemarketer, Jimmy, and you are not going to fine me eleven thousand dollars. Now, for the last time, put your mother on."

"Line one, Pastor Bob. Last name, Sims. First name, Mary. Preferred name, Honey."

"This relationship has serious phone issues."

"I've been talking on this phone so much, I'm getting cauliflower ears."

Business executive has desk sign stating: I am in a meeting.

"I can't really talk right now. I'm busy on the phone."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"Thank you for holding, your prayers have advanced in the queue and will be answered by the next available deity."

'You can't put me on hold... I'm putting you on hold!'

'Honey, I'm afraid I won't make it for dinner...'

What are you doing? I'm letting double glazing chat to free holidays.

'It's the Psychic Network returning your call you plan to make tomorrow.'

'You can always talk to us in person or over the phone.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"Hello. This is the old man across the street. Get off my lawn!"

"Hi, this is Larry, the warm, human voice that pops in during your exasperating tour through our company's automated phone answering system, gets your hopes up and then dashes them to the rocks before you can utter a word. Please hold!"

Phone Calls As a Child and As an Adult

"You never return my calls."

"I think you've called the wrong Bill Baley."

"Can I call you back? I have to teach my child how to relax at home."

"May I put you on hold? I was on another line."

Yes Darling, the phone bill is a bit high, but remember: 'What's good for the Goose is good for the Gander'...

'I'll say this for Sharon - She leaves nothing to chance!'

"Your call is important to us. If you're buying something, it's very important. If you want us to service what you already bought, it's sort of important. If you're calling to complain, your call is a waste of time."

'Harold! Guess what? We have a phone call and it's not a telemarketer!'