Phone Call Aficionado Gifts

"You're currently talking to a Millennial, please hold while we try and find someone who speaks 'boomer'."

'For street cleansing press: Two. For garden refuse press: three. For Love - . . .Press your sweet lips a little closer to the phone.'

"This call may be recorded for training, monitoring, or at the very least, amusement purposes."

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"Yes, I'm still on hold and counting the billable minutes."

Dog Chatlines...

'Why is productivity down? Everyone is out making a call.'

Hi, just thought I'd touch base...

'Hey! You don't suppose she LIVES in there?'

'Hello? Oh hi... look, can I ring you back, I'm fighting a dragon...'

'Where am I calling you from? Oh, just around.'

'I'm on the throne!'

'I'd like to call my next witness.'

Using the phone from the toilet.

'Callers will be answered in the order of their Fortune 500 ranking.'

'The King of what?'

"Your bill is due today. To pay it now, press 'pound.' To request a grace period, pound sand."

Hello. Hello, is this Sally? Depends on what? Lars Fusco.

"Castle."

"Murray, I'm going to have to put you on hold."

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'Yes, as a matter of fact, you have caught me at a bad time.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

'Mr. Coleman is on vacation. Would you care to hold?'

"No, you dismantle your nuclear arsenal first."

Technology and Love

"It's an app that lets me know when I'm bored."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

'It's the bank again... What I'd give for a bit of good old-fashioned heavy breathing!'

Go to settings, sounds, ringtone, whistle, who can hear this, then tap only me.

'And now for the anesthesia: I've got plenty of conventional anesthetics I could use here but you can also choose to spend half an hour on the phone with my mother...'

Children and technolohgy

'Can't talk now, I'm just going into a tunnel.'

Phone Mittens