Philosophical Couple Gifts

"According to this not only are we lost but in one way or another we've always been lost."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Harold, you've changed."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

Strangers. friends. Lovers. Spouse.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

Is man a social animal? - 'As a married man, the short answer is no.'

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

"No, no - that's not the company sales, that's my marriage."

'Take this stick-drive and open the file 'John's Emotional Baggage'. It'll save a lot of time.'

"If you could time-travel back to any period in history, would your love for me keep you from going?"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Oddly enough I'm flattered my wife's attorney thinks I'm so successful."

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"Am I a happy man or just an asymptomatic one?"