Intellectual Couple Gifts

"I did the math. If we want to read all of Proust in this lifetime, we have to start tomorrow morning."

Right click for yes...

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

'Single math professor in search of an intelligent woman. Send an example of your favorite equation.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

'He said he wasn't good enough for me, so I married him because he's the first man to realize that.'

"I now pronounce you man and wife - do you wish to save these changes?"

"You want answers?" "I want the truth!" "You can't handle the infinite explanation of cosmological arguments relating to the truth!"

"We're staying together for the sake of our facebook page..."

"Amazing, eh? Good-looking, dependable, trustworthy, inflatable."

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

'Words can't express how much I Love You - so I'm writing an equation.'

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

"They're a very hi-tech family. Apparently, even their baby was cordless."

'You've been faking it, haven't you?'

Academic Affairs: The Chair of Philosophy Corners the Chair of the Sciences

"Replying with a heart emoji to a cat video I posted on Facebook is not the same as telling me you love me."

'I just e-mailed you, 'good night,' but it got bounced back, so, good night.'

Friday night was always sext night.

'I'm changing my status to not complicated enough.'

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

'Was it good for you?' 'I haven't finished yet!'

"Force level 3 on those high-five's! That's my photon firing hand!"

Department de Philosophie

Then and now: great readers are now great viewers.

Internet wedding - 'Apparently, you get a 40% discount if you marry on-line...'

Social Media Romance

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

"But the two of us sitting here surfing the internet isn't 'going somewhere together'. . ."

"Oh, David! He's playing our ring tone!"

"Tighten our belts? Why can't you sell your soul to some nasty American corporation?"

"Just so you know ahead of time, I have a whole new set of angry emojis I'm willing to unleash on you."

Hospitalized intellectuals are ill-literates.