Philosopher On Ice Gifts

Lemniskate

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Goldfish bowl on raft...

"Geez, from way up here it almost looks like there’s hope for humanity."

'I know I'm still in the Juniors, but I already need a therapist.'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'In my opinion, you're either part of the problem or part of the solution. Unless, of course, you're Jones, who thinks he can just float above it all!'

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"So I leave eggs on the ground, and then you come along and drop your whatever on them? That's your idea of romance?"

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

"Did you ever notice, the snow is always whiter on the other side of the glacier?"

Descartes' dog.

'Buddy, I'll get stinking rich... yesterday, I took out an insurance against pneumonia!'

"...umm, when was the last time somebody cleaned the fridge?!"

Please no evolving here. Thank you

"That's an interesting question, Clint. I don't know if my gun rack is an authentic regionalism or just a macho affectation."

'Nothing to do? Why don't you read the refrigerator.'

"My flight’s been delayed for the third time—whom do I punch in the face for that?"

"I don't care if 'the medium is the message'. You can't draw directly on the fridge!"

"Respect every snowflake as you clear my driveway."

'Do you believe we return in another form when our time is through?'

Change Rooms.

Bob devises the ultimate weight-loss system.

Deepwater Fish

'I saw the light during my near death experience, but it turned out to be in my refrigerator.'

"Our communication system has gone down! All the magnets fell off the refrigerator!"

Two fish about to play a prank on an ice hole fisherman.

"I don't think you'll still be that 'Zen' when I tell you someone's nicked your cheese and pickle sandwich from the fridge."

"My work is to stare into space."

'We don't have energy-efficient appliances but the food in the 'fridge has gone green.'

'If you bark your head off all night in a forest and no one hears you, are you still a bad dog?'

'Are we going on a diet again?'