Pharmacy Pun Lover Pillows

'Sorry, sir, but that's what your prescription seems to say.'

Prozac- Now In Holiday Strength

"Apparently he's been dealing in drugs for years"

'...and this one's a freebie from the pharmaceutical company that keeps you addicted to your other medications.'

'This is the same prescription that you always refill except that the name has been changes to make it easier to pronounce.'

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

Medical Supplies

"We only test our drugs on plants, so we have to do lots and lots of extrapolating."

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

'Here is the mood elevating medication that your doctor prescribed. The less costly generic version is called chocolate.'

I heart bypass t-shirt.

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

"I'm Dr. Fenton. I'll be performing your microsurgery today."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'I ordered an IV, not an ivy.'

'You're getting a stye.'

Hospital. Patient to stomach specialist: 'What's your gut-feeling, Doctor?'

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

'This is our most efficient inhibition blocker. It's 99% alcohol.'

Plastic Surgery

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

"I can't afford to take on any new conditions at this time."

"...and that concludes your first lecture on anatomy."

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

"Your bloodwork just came back. . . the GOOD news is that you've definitely got some!"

Blue blood