Pharmacy Pun Enthusiast Pillows

Pharmacy - "Are these for here or to go?"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Remember, if I'm ever on life support unplug me... then plug me back in. See if that works."

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

'I understand you know how to treat a woman.'

'If you want a second opinion, come back tomorrow, and I'll tell you the same thing.'

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

"You're as sound as a dollar. I'll order more tests."

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

'Here is the mood elevating medication that your doctor prescribed. The less costly generic version is called chocolate.'

'Your left ventricle doesn't know what your right ventricle is doing.'

Obstetrics.

I heart bypass t-shirt.

'I'm afraid the bed shortage is rather acute...'

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'I ordered an IV, not an ivy.'

Traffic Lights Medicine

Hospital. Patient to stomach specialist: 'What's your gut-feeling, Doctor?'

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

'You're getting a stye.'

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

Plastic Surgery

We need to up your dosage or lower mine.

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

"The biopsy came back benign.....but I still want you to see a tree surgeon."

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'

"Doctor Smith your 12:30 pain in the neck is here."

Medical floor directory follows body parts.

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'