Pharmaceutical Pun Lover Pillows

'Take them until further testing shows they really aren't effective.'

'Okay, so that one's not right for me either... Is Zythoranex right for me?'

'Don't shoot those Canadian Geese.. they're delivering our prescription drugs!'

'The child proof container has a dual purpose. It keeps it out of the hands of children and it keeps you from getting addicted to the medicine.'

Pharmacy: Trending, Staff Picks, Popular Side Effects.

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

"...for a canal I thought that was unusually short."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'Now that's what I call rejection.'

"You're in the "Stone Age." You've got kidney stones, gall stones, and bladder stones."

"And that one's for the relief of anxiety caused by the high cost of medication."

'Here is the mood elevating medication that your doctor prescribed. The less costly generic version is called chocolate.'

I heart bypass t-shirt.

'You tell me how to give them a fever, and I'll tell you how to make them cough.'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

Sea of Tranquillity

'The lab report just came in. The lab is in fine shape!'

'I ordered an IV, not an ivy.'

"It appears you have medication forgetfulness disorder, which, as you can imagine, is untreatable."

'You're getting a stye.'

Hospital. Patient to stomach specialist: 'What's your gut-feeling, Doctor?'

"Those giblets are gonna have to come out."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

Plastic Surgery

"We've got to cut the drugs budget somehow, pass me the twigs and the bat droppings!"

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

'You can see the Doctor now. Don't ask him anything too medical.'

"...and that concludes your first lecture on anatomy."

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'

"Your bloodwork just came back. . . the GOOD news is that you've definitely got some!"

"What do you mean I'm not your type?"

Blue blood

"Two options. This drug won't cure you, but the side effects are terrific. This other drug will cure you, but the side effects are worse than the original disease."

Standup Pharmacist