Pharma Philosophers Gifts

Stupid medicine - Shake Well Before Using.

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Covid Variants

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

Food Pyramid

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

Prescription Drugs '96.

'The cow that jumped over the moon, was she on some kind of growth hormones?'

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

"Look on the dark side."

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.

"It's supposed to be some kind of aphrodisiac, but it hasn't done jack for me."

"Judy and Chuck were both gelcaps, so their marriage dissolved faster."

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'