Pharma Philosophers Pillows

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Covid Variants

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'Any chance of me being recycled Doc?'

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'The cow that jumped over the moon, was she on some kind of growth hormones?'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."

Prescription Drugs '96.

"You know it's the American drug companies that give you the headache that is cured by the pills they sell you."

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

"Whoa! Now I remember. This was one of the possible side effects on the label."

"Good news - we're merging with Pinetree Pharma. They make the cures for all the harm our drugs do."

Food Pyramid

'Human clinical trials start in six months. Sooner if we run out of mice.'

'The problem is that you're overmedicated. Luckily there are drugs that can help with that.'

"In order to get through this, I've had to find an inner strength that I never knew I had in the medicine cabinet."

Calm down...this is for your own good.

"Look on the dark side."

"Are you sure you don't want to try just one miracle drug before you die?"

'Generics of generics - that's the way we'll go.'

Prozac, Lexapro and Lithium.

'I like this shampoo. It says here: 'Not tested on animals'!'

"This may be the beer, Zoloft, Rogaine, Cialis and Avapro talking ... but I feel weird."

"Judy and Chuck were both gelcaps, so their marriage dissolved faster."

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

"I can see you're concerned about the amount of medication you're taking. Let me see if I can give you something for that."