Pharmaceutical Philosophers Pillows

'I was taking Ritalin long before it became trendy.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Covid Variants

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'

'How about a toast to my breakthrough?!'

'You won't believe this, but even if the vaccine works, they wont give it to other sick mice.'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"This is for the pain and these are for the side effects."

'Side effects may include....'

Alexander Fleming

"Thanks to modern medicine, we now have drugs to make any season the season to be jolly."

"Our psychopharmacologist is a genius."

'What I call a miracle drug is one that doesn't start a government investigation.'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Look on the bright side – the Rogaine worked!"

'I thoguht they only tested drugs on guinea pigs.'

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …

"Republicans, Democrats...as long as they keep getting sick, we'll be all right."

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

'Just for kicks, let's come up with something that has a good side effect.'

'...the side effects of this designer drug are more beneficial than it's intended use!'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

'You can't call it a miracle drug just because you added miracle whip!'

August, 1897 - Arthur Eichengrun invents aspirin.

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Professor Yomp is working overtime, trying to find a synthetic rhino horn.'

"We only test our drugs on plants, so we have to do lots and lots of extrapolating."

'The cow that jumped over the moon, was she on some kind of growth hormones?'

"For the perfect sedative, take the juice from a bottle of whisky..."