Pet Parent Pranksters Pillows

'I can't tell if it's an obscene phone call or one of your friends panting.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

'Dog got your clog?'

"It was trick to assemble, as my lab assistant kept taking bones and burying them outside."

Self-walking dog

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Yes, we've not told you before about bringing your cat to work... we thought it was just a plush toy!"

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

'What - this is no parrot? Are you sure? The pet shop salesman is such an idiot! He should really look for a new job, eh?'

Happy New Year

Best in Heat.

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."