Pet Parent Pranksters Gifts

'I can't tell if it's an obscene phone call or one of your friends panting.'

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

'He ate all the magnets off of the refrigerator.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

Self-walking dog

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

"It was trick to assemble, as my lab assistant kept taking bones and burying them outside."

'Dog got your clog?'

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

"Yes, we've not told you before about bringing your cat to work... we thought it was just a plush toy!"

Best in Heat.

Happy New Year

'What - this is no parrot? Are you sure? The pet shop salesman is such an idiot! He should really look for a new job, eh?'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."