Prankster Pet Parent Gifts

'Okay...now watch what happens when I extend my claws.'

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

"Hello, Pine Grove Elementary? Could you tell Miss Pritchard to come to Lakeview Veterinarian Clinic right away?"

'A generous layer of vaseline makes an excellent tickle repellent!'

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

'He ate all the magnets off of the refrigerator.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Starmer. It's a tool!"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

'I taught him to shake hands, but I don't know where he got the joybuzzer!'

"I'm too old for a baby-sitter. How about hanging a portrait with the eyes that always seem to look at you?"

Public toiletsbathrooms for dogs using fire hydrants in cubicals.

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

Self-walking dog

"It was trick to assemble, as my lab assistant kept taking bones and burying them outside."

'He followed me home. Can I keep him, mum? Can I?'

'Dog got your clog?'

'Its old Mrs Smith again, I am pretty sure its because she can't afford the vets bills she says the appointment is for her nephew.'

Darling, you should have asked me to put sun tan lotion on your back and not the kids!

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Yes, we've not told you before about bringing your cat to work... we thought it was just a plush toy!"

'First they taught me how to fetch the newspaper, later they taught me how to pee on it, but I I reversed that sequence and all hell broke loose.'

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

'What - this is no parrot? Are you sure? The pet shop salesman is such an idiot! He should really look for a new job, eh?'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

Happy New Year

Best in Heat.

'I knew I should have used mistletoe instead of catnip.'