Pet Lover's Whimsy Gifts

"I only know 'Sit' and 'Stay.' "

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Boy with a whale: 'He followed me home, Dad, can I keep him?'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Roget's Pet

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'Click it or ticket.'

"He ran out of pee."

'I'd like the tongue, please.'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Al's Teachers' Pets.

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

'It's only temporary until we can find a good home for the cats.'

"One more question. Would you mind if corporate implanted a chip between your shoulder blades?"

"Why would I care of you scratch the couch? I'm not allowed on it..."

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."

When Pugs dream.

'Oh! She's such a pretty ba-a-by!! Yes, she is! A Pretty, pretty ba-a-a-b!...'

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

'Good boy. That's better than the others, but still too long. For playing fetch, I prefer a shorter stick, shaped like that, without bark or moss, and not quite as heavy.'

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

"As I near my 9th life, I feel I’m entering a post-curious, pre-fatalist phase of existence."

'If we build it, they will come.'

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

BONK!, 'He's not the brightest cat I've ever seen.'

Self-walking dog

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

'I never see the dog complain about my cooking.'

Dinosaur dig 'Pet cemetery'