Pet Industry Professional Gifts

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'And this is Mr Blagstock our chief salesman.'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Dog Walking Services

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

Self-Employment

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

Landing That Tough Account

'Gentlemen, I've just seen the quarterly reports and believe me, I am not wagging my tail!'

'His jaw got stuck when he tried to fetch the Sunday paper!'

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

'I must smell more.'

"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'That's the last time I trust you to train the dog!'

'Sorry. We just assumed that since you were picking up his waste, he was the intelligent life form.'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

Distracted dog walker.

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

"Well, it's a good thing cats game nine lives."/"Yeah, and each one seems to cost me a fortune."

Buttbook

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

"Along with the solar panels, I've designed a gutter that drains right into your water bowl."

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"

"What's our policy on pets?"