Pet Industry Professional T-Shirts

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'And this is Mr Blagstock our chief salesman.'

"We can see through the troposphere, stratosphere, mesosphere and into all those distant stars up there in outer space... truly remarkable, huh, girl?"

Dog Walking Services

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Your credentials are impressive, Carter but... quite frankly, Mr. Biggles doesn't seem to like you."

'He's normally not affectionate, but he's really taken a liking to you!'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"Man! That squirrel was jacked!"

'Daniel! How many times have I told you not to bury that in the back yard! I'm going to be late for work!'

"I think my parents are pretty old. They remember a time before 'clumping' cat litter."

'I understand you don't have a resume but you do have your pedigree papers?'

"Oh, no, no, no, no! Please, NOOO!"

Landing That Tough Account

'Most dogs chase cars, Sally but mine is into them!'

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

Self-Employment

'I must smell more.'

'His jaw got stuck when he tried to fetch the Sunday paper!'

"The cat walking business didn't go anywhere! Neither did we."

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

'Gentlemen, I've just seen the quarterly reports and believe me, I am not wagging my tail!'

'Relax, you are in doggy heaven. I'm just from a temp service.'

'Sorry. We just assumed that since you were picking up his waste, he was the intelligent life form.'

'I had my vet put down. He was over 23!'

'That's the last time I trust you to train the dog!'

'The increasing popularity of the Saint Bernard...'

"Well, it's a good thing cats game nine lives."/"Yeah, and each one seems to cost me a fortune."

'Say, Doc, I'll need more of that steroid stuff for old King. He's still kind of peaked. Must need some heavy doses."

Buttbook

'Look, when you made an appointment for me to treat a rattlesnake bite,...

'Good thing we're not litigious.'

"Along with the solar panels, I've designed a gutter that drains right into your water bowl."

'Acme Meat - meat products, bi-products, and bi-product spinoffs...'

"For crying out loud! It’s empty!!"