Pet-free Ponderer Gifts

'I don't have a dog or a cat. Why do you ask?'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

"That's an everblue."

'White meat or dark?'

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'Well, it's kind of an IV enema!'

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

Fish Food

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'We're going on a little vacation, and we were wondering if you folks would mind taking care of Spot.'

"Sorry I'm late. It took me forever to find this place."

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

'I bark, therefore I am.'

'Mom, it's doing it again'

"We're not so different, you and I."

You know it's my pet peeve when you say "anywhoo."

"I'm beginning to think I'm the only one without a dog."

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"

Hmmm... what's my real purpose? Why am I here? - 'Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Let me guess!' - 'Go on, then.' - 'Is your life a homage mediocrity?' - 'Ouch.' - 'Quizzes are fun! Ask me more!' -

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

"I do, too, notice the little things, and most of them irritate me."