Pet Feeding Fanatic Pillows

"You keep impeccable time."

Dog lover

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

Epic Battles

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

Another environmentally correct office product: The executive desk/organizer-fish ladder

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

Dog owner sees pet reading book, 'How to train your owner'.

Dog Sees Only Food

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

"Not really. I went on the green carpet just before we came out."

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Give him one of these 3 times a day and tummy rubs as needed."

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

After Hours in the Pet Shop.

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

The Catkins Diet

"You know, there are also some people who should never have children, hint hint...."

'Doctor Cameron, how fast! In the bladder already!'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

Polly want a cracker?

'Think he'll ever spring for the bowl?'

"It's the first edition of 'How dogs know what their owners are bringing home for dinner'."

''No, Ma,am', I said. 'I'm not taking anybody's pet pig for a walk in a baby carriage' and then she doubled my salary.'

Cat steals food from owner who is distracted by feeding the dog.

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

'Does my tail make me look fat?'

"The insurance company needs to see the alleged piece of straw before they’ll process your claim."