Pet Feeding Aficionado Pillows

'Of course you have a choice. You can have it in your bowl...or on the floor...what's it to be, Mister Choosey?'

Welcome to the Team

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"You keep impeccable time."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'My owner is feeding me way too much organic food.'

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

'Relax, sir. He's a Border Colie - smartest of all breeds!'

"Is that all they taught him at obedience school? How to use a can opener?"

"Alright, alright! I'll stop buying the cheap stuff, OK?"

"First they taught me how to pee on the newspaper. Then they taught me how to fetch it. I reversed the sequence by accident and I've been out here since."

"I can't believe how much I love her. Just look at those sienna eyes and that adorable little nose. I honestly don't know how I'd survive without her." "He has food."

"I'm down here, Mona. That's your slipper."

Spot the fur ball.

'She feeds me, walks me, washes me, and picks up after me...yet...I'm supposed to be man's best friend?'

'Look, mom! They ran out of trick or treat candy, so they gave us these kittens!'

"Seven, eight, nine, ten..."

'...and how much experience have you of sushi making?'

Dog driving and man leaning out of open window.

Cat scratches dog's car.

Man's best friend - Man's worst friend - Man's only friend.

'Can we keep him?'

'Rover is sulking because he helped bag the goose and all he gets for dinner is dog food.'

'I wish John would stop using that gourmet pet food that makes gravy when you add water.'

Free range cat food - mice running around the store.

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'May I have two containers - fish for my cat, meat for the dog...vegetables divided as follows, one-fourth for the cat, three-fourths for the dog, but no carrots for the cat - kitty doesn't like carrots...'

This here's my kitty! I call er Whiskers!

Consider a Pet...someone with a bigger beak than me!

"Two or three more times around and you should be free."

"Fill it up!"

"Unlike the case for dogs, the people that cats own don't grow to look like them. I mean, seriously, what human could look as good as this?"

Polly want a cracker?