Feeding Fanatics Pillows

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

"You're overfeeding that baby."

Counting ribs

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"You keep impeccable time."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'So this is goodbye then!'

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"Now that's art!"

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

Waiting staff

Cutlery store: Big Sale! Everything slashed!

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

'Someplace where we just eat, eat, eat!'

All You Can Eat

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"That banquet was most delicious, and yet now, somehow, once again I feel the pang of hunger.'

"Separate checks, please."

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

A waiter warning the cook about certain customers