Feeding Fanatics Gifts

Cat wakes up owner demanding to be fed.

"You're overfeeding that baby."

Counting ribs

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

"You keep impeccable time."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

CAUTION: Creative genius at work

'So this is goodbye then!'

'I told him not to wear stretchy pants to dinner.'

OFA. Onion Farmer of the Year. I told myself I wasn't going to cry ….

"Nice try, Mom, but I'm going to go with a caterer."

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

A convenient attack of swine flu...

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"Everybody's doing quinoa—at least Kamut still has a nice grainier-than-thou quality."

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

'Real hungry? Should be, 'Really hungry.' Adjectives take adverbs.'

"Yes, I'm sure some child in Brussels won't starve if you eat his sprouts."

"Our greatest fears are confirmed, they've taken waffle fries off the menu."

"Now that's art!"

'Look...it's almost empty! Those pesky birds need to quit stealin' the food out of this squirrel feeder!'

'Three, two, one. Stand clear.'

All You Can Eat

Cook spills food and has to open a can (tin).

Cutlery store: Big Sale! Everything slashed!

'Gosh, he looks so peaceful lying there, I almost hate to wake him up and put him in the oven.'

'Someplace where we just eat, eat, eat!'

'This is quite common. You've eaten so many sausages that you've turned into one.'

"That banquet was most delicious, and yet now, somehow, once again I feel the pang of hunger.'

"Separate checks, please."

Waiting staff