Pet Dynamics Enthusiast Pillows

"In this family we have a constant power struggle!"

"Between being totally aloof or obsessively curious, it's a full day."

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

"Jerk." "Jackass." "Screw you." "Bite me."

A relevant sign for the shopkeeper's predicament.

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

"Eddie, you are one hell of a mouse!"

Parrot annoying dog.

'The cat did it.'

"My dog ate my parents' marijuana, and then ate my homework."

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

"See. I told you they have Roomba Rodeos when we're gone."

"Is this your work?"

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

'Oh look, John, it's Chirpie who's been firing darts at the cat - and all this time we thought it was the children.'

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

Another Timmy Pet Fail!

"What?!"

Dog: "Have you noticed? He looks more like me all the time."

"I have to call you back, Mom. I'm right in the middle of updating the dog's website."

'You can speed it up if you want.'

'Crickets? I mean cricket?'

Beware of Blog

'Uh-Oh! There goes the neighborhood.'

Will be back at 4...

"Meow?"

'Ohhhh, he finally broke.'

"Big deal! You're still all bums to me."

Fat Kid 33- Stops playing with the cat

"She has these fantasies that she ‘rescued’ me, and I just let her believe it."

'The Pied Piper routine has got to stop.'

"If dogs had cell phones... Hi, Carl. It’s me again. I know you’re just going out to the mailbox but I was wondering if you’re ever returning. What’s the rush."

"That's not the moon, you idiot ... it's a night light!"

'They're Home!!!... HA-HA-HA... you are soooo busted!'