Pet Dynamics Puzzler Pillows

'Oh look, John, it's Chirpie who's been firing darts at the cat - and all this time we thought it was the children.'

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

"He may be neutered and declawed, but he's still dangerous."

'Get Doc Weston and Tell him I have a fever and to come over quick. We have a show to do tonight.' The talking dog goes over to the doctor's house and simply says 'woof'.

'Sorry. Your accident insurance doesn't cover that kind of incident.'

"They didn't have a cone that fit my head."

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

"Eddie, you are one hell of a mouse!"

'Right, you peck his left paw, I'll go for the right one.'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Parrot annoying dog.

'The cat did it.'

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

"My dog ate my parents' marijuana, and then ate my homework."

'I don't think there's anyone home...Or am I just being naive?...'

Another Timmy Pet Fail!

Dog: "Have you noticed? He looks more like me all the time."

'You can speed it up if you want.'

"What?!"

''Free as a bird': Yeah right!'

'Uh-Oh! There goes the neighborhood.'

'The Pied Piper routine has got to stop.'

Will be back at 4...

"Obedience school prepared me for everything but cats."

"Between being totally aloof or obsessively curious, it's a full day."

"I don't believe I belong here."

"If dogs had cell phones... Hi, Carl. It’s me again. I know you’re just going out to the mailbox but I was wondering if you’re ever returning. What’s the rush."

Pets Plus Complaints,

"The Chaetodon capistratus, commonly known as the four-eyed butterfly fish, is monogamous."

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

'Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!'