Pets Perplexer Pillows

''Free as a bird': Yeah right!'

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'Marm doesn't understand, 'I've got it, I've got it'.'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"You've got to understand, in my family Dad was the poodle and Mom was the pit bull."

"I'm just saying, studies show that owning a human can improve the quality of your life."

Fish Food

"I think he's lost."

"Turned out he wasn't a miniature."

"Obviously, somebody screwed up somewhere."

'Byt the way, what have you been eating? Because your crap tastes like crap!'

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

He's at that confusing stage between chasing his own tail or the mail carrier's.

'I bark, therefore I am.'

"Is it too late to get a puppy?"

'Oh look, John, it's Chirpie who's been firing darts at the cat - and all this time we thought it was the children.'

"Happy 126th birthday, girl!"

'Sometimes I think I spoil this dog'

"He expects us to climbdown first."

"We're not so different, you and I."

'It's a party invitation, Phillip, not a hostile takeover.'

I Wonder if They can Think…

"What do cats want?"

'Don't you think you're pampering him a bit?'

'Has anyone seen my book on pet psychology?'

"That 'Love thy neighbor' part, does that include cats?"

If you have 5 dogs, 3 will be asleep.

'Yeah, I read somewhere that people started to look like their pets after a while...'

'Freshly ground pepper?'

"Obedience school prepared me for everything but cats."

'I'm not sure who the father is, I didn't get a look at his face'