Pet Behavior Fan Gifts

"I'm concerned... She didn't do her usual stretch-bark-rub-her-face-across-the-carpet thing after kibble."

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

The Dance of the Penguins Once the March Is Over

"The unlucky lemming"

E-Baying @ The Moon

What does aloof mean?

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

Mating rituals

"It's a recipe called no-cook fish chowder."

"That's how humans reproduce? But, there's three of them..."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

Museum of Bones

"Well, you gonna spin?" "Ah, maybe after another Breaking Bad."

'They learn fast, don't they?'

Remote-controlled cat flap.

Echo in the hippo.

Cat reading Rommel biography.

"I'm more of an 'I like to watch' dog."

'I am a bit concerned about what you meant when you said: LET'S DO LUNCH...'

Cat on cuckoo clock waiting for bird.

"You smell … and I mean this in a good way … like a swamp."

'Gordon likes to base our courtship on that of the Guatamalan swamp owl...'

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

'What the hell

"He's such a gentleman, he didn't use a 'mating call' to attract me: he's developed a 'please join me on a date' call..."

"I'm hungry anyone else?"

'Excellent Darling, you've cleaned up this bone really well!'

'Are you telling me this actually works?'

Some Zoomies

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.

'All I can tell you is they're not the cute little birds who usually ride around on us.'