Pest Observer T-Shirts

"And then on ab day they roll on their backs, flail, and mimic us in the throes of death."

Fly Eye Chart

'hey man, this is good sht'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Go away, he's not done playing Cowboys and Indians yet."

Painting clouds

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"Okay, you both know the rules: no trash talk, no batting the other guy all over the house if he’s unconscious, watch the claws and nails..."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

Fly Fishing

Duck Hunt

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

Bears catching fish

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'I found the termites!'

'I admire your floatibility.'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Bee flying to another flower.

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

Annie, the Reptile version: 'The sun will come out tomorrow! Tomorrow! You will sun yourself tomorrow!'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"I've got you in my sights now, Mister Squirrel, with your fluffy tail and those tiny hands clutching that itty-bitty nut. Aww, you must be hungry...poor little fella... I love you, Mister Squirrel."

What does aloof mean?

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

The prying mantis,

"I could catch a bicyclist, well maybe not a bicyclist, but I could catch a jogger, definitely."

"It can't be much of a life working all day, but at least he gets to wear a stripey jersey."