Pest Humorist Gifts

A Mouse hole in the shape of Arabian architecture

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"Houston, we have a problem."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Tell me again how aloof and independent cats are.

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'I'll be glad when winter is over and he can start buryi8ng bones again.'

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Fish with a human in a bowl.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Dogs life

"We're going to the Vet aren't we."

Cats at private view

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Out, damned Spot.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Defense budget... Do you have any idea how much catnip $700 billion would buy?"

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

Clown walks balloon dog

"His name's Bond. Mittens Bond."

Flowers? My girl prefers a dead mouse!

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

'It was this big. I swear'

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"