Pest Controller Humorist Gifts

Flies Don't Deserve Wings

'They're so obvious about it.'

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Mouse living in a wedding cake.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

I think I know where the noises in your wall are coming from. Pest control.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

"Well, what a coincidence, Jeff's in vermin control too!"

"Down there, by the coffee room...you've got a bad case of summer intern infestation."

Shoe Repair and Pest Control.

"This stuff worked pretty well on me."

'Could we fleas get fleas of our own?'

"Your honor, my client is a very respectable blood-sucking pest."

'Not that insect, silly! That's my husband.'

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

In his haste to wipe out the hornets' nest, Jerry mistakenly grabbed a can of spray paint,

Pest controller tries to catch old woman who is exacerbating the problem by feeding birds.

'Hello? Animal control?'

'Yeah, I used to live with thousands of my friends in the kitchen of a restaurant, but for some reason, it was closed down...'

"We have a termite problem."

Lost My Ability To Ruin Picnics. Please Help.

'This infestation is far more serious than I was anticipating.'

'How much would you charge to kill my husband'

Cheese robot-squad.

'We get the occasional spider but no ants'.

'Thanks, 'two fish heads and a saucer of milk' is the best estimate so far.'

"You call yourself a pest removal expert? Well, my son is still living in my basement."

'Stinkin' little gopher! I'll flood him out!!'

'Get over it, Brady. Pitchers at this level are expected to get batters out. Randy there gave up eight runs in one inning...'

Garden Pest Solutions

Clancy: Thick Flies