Personal Manager Gifts

'I'm the best personal manager you can get because I'm so well experienced. I've been fired by most of the leading companies in the world!'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

The MBA Draft

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Portrait of a Lady"