Personal Manager Pillows

'I'm the best personal manager you can get because I'm so well experienced. I've been fired by most of the leading companies in the world!'

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

The MBA Draft

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Things are still a little rough for me, and occasionally I lose hope and get depressed—but I'm getting stronger every day."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

"Portrait of a Lady"

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"I'm off to the gym, where my private self and my public self converge."