People Who Love Comebacks Pillows

"Yep, I was the little runt you used to tease all the time! Guess what, I had a late growth spurt..."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

Professor Ernie's history of philosophy. Rene Descartes had a difficult childhood. I think, therefore I am! I know you are, but what am I?!

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

'Answer me one question, would you?' 'O.K.' 'Do you still love me?' 'That's two!'

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

'Reinventing myself.'

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

'True but only in practice, not in principle.'

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

Newspaper Co. Sports Desk. Ernie, we need headlines for our series of articles on sports stars trying to revive their careers. Let's start with the Australian athlete. "Boomerang Thrower's Comeback." A basketball player bulked up to become competitive again. "Hoopster Muscles Way to Rebound"! The tennis star overcame a serious illness and is back on the court. "Tennis Champ Rallies: Makes Exciting Return"! The skier, on the other hand, had to retire. He's a politician in a dirty electi

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

"I'm keeping you back after school!"

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

"He killed in rehab."

'My homework? Why, at home.'

Broken ankle? Blown out knee? Compound fracture? No problem! Get back on the court in a jiff with the amazing new Roller Brace!

"If you're a self made man...why did you made yourself so short?"

"Kid, you got a 'While You Were Out' message."

The comeback trail

Debating Society. This is not like sports. "Comeback performer of the year" means something different here.

'Where have you been all my life?'

Sunrise. Sunflop. Sunback.

"We're very excited about this cashback, er, I mean comeback, tour."

'I'm considering a comeback...'

15 Minutes of Fame - 25 years of comebacks please help.

"The short answer is no. The long answer is noooooooooooooo."