Clever Comeback Lover Pillows

'I understand you like one night stands. Feel free to stand out there in the hall all night.'

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Off my back and out of the sack. Let's unpack and have a snack!"

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

King and Jester

"I'm afraid we have very little in the salary range you're accustomed to."

"If I wanted your opinion I would have hauled you in for questioning."

"I think I'm coming down with something."

'I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you're going to get to relive the thrill of building your company up from nothing!'

Egg Surprise

Revenge Graffiti.

"Ready...."

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'Why are you so obnoxious?' 'Heredity!'

'Be careful opening this...it's marked dangerous goods.'

Soup Surprise

Jack-in-a-box popping out of a computer monitor.

'Het Dad, I don't need a bike from Santa anymore. I just found one behind your wardrobe!'

"Surprised?"

'You were married to him for 40 years. He never once mentioned he was having his head cryogenically frozen?'

'It was a surprise quiz to me and the teacher - I passed!'

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

Mom, I gotta hang up. Jill's about to find the diamond I hid under the bacon she always refuses to eat!

Jack-in-the-box reads 'It's almost March again!'

'I'm afraid that I'm going to wind up an old maid!'

Awkward Moments

'Yes, this is the deep end.'

"Yes I can read palms and if you don't remove yours from my thigh, you'll be reading my palm with your face!"

'Reinventing myself.'