Comeback Pillows

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

"I've got an idea for my comeback."

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"This number goes out to all the little people I met on my way back down."

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"I'm so happy to be back in the workforce I'll never complain out loud again about Mondays."

A lesson in wit

How Gary got his groove back.

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

"Not to quibble, Helen, but if you look up 'Pathetic Loser' in the dictionary I don't believe anyone's picture is there."

"Where are all the hecklers? I have some great rejoinders."

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"Stimulating this area of the brain will enable the patient to think of all the clever things he wished he had said."

The Fountain of Youth.

"In a minor role, but giving a highly charged performance. . ."

"Quick, Bartlett! Instill them with hope!"

'I would go to the end of the world for you.' - 'Yes, but would you stay there?'

'Reinventing myself.'

"This accident will not affect my career as a football pro. Fortunately, I'm left-footed."

'I'm proud of the lads. They show'd a lot of character coming back from one down. . . then two or three silly goals. . . At this level you get punished. But overall I thought we were a bit unlucky. . .'

"Now just hold on...I've pre-recorded some snappy comebacks since I never remember them during these meetings."

"I think I've already had my fifteen minutes of fortune."

'After I get my MBA I'll live in New York and summer in Europe before moving back in with my parents.'

"Phil is my Vice President in Charge of Snappy Comebacks."

Not Such A Fool As He Looks.

'... but you've gotta admire him for at least trying to come back after an injury of that magnitude.'

'Mr. Churchill, you are drunk !' 'Yes Madam and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober.'

"Is there a reason you haven't done any work?"

"He killed in rehab."