People Who Enjoy Introspective Humor Pillows

'I just can't escape the feeling that we're living in an insensitive world.'

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

"I've switched from talking to myself to talking at myself."

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"Does my brain look big in this?"

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

"Nice to finally put a name to the face."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

"What's the big deal. . . ? - We've been doing that for years anyway. . ."

"I'm a sucker for group dynamics."

'Boy, you know our lives suck when our cable goes out more than we do.'

Man sitting on his own at a costume party dressed as a skunk.

"Hi, Zazz - I think you know everyone present."

Jean-Paul Sartre.

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

"Anyone home?"

"Oh, that? It pops up when Bob's social battery runs out."

Anti-Personnel Department

Self examination.

'It's a smart TV - it only turns on for Mastermind.'

'I think his I.Q. is lower than his shoe size!'

'HA! I don't have TIME prior to talk words I've already had on think to... speaking.'

"Somehow, I still feel insignificant."

H.M.Customs 'Nothing to declare' 'Articles to declare' 'Genius to declare'

"I'd like to file a report. I'm trying to find myself."

Marionette

"And how long have you been agoraphobic?"

"I feel like my parents didn't want me."

"Last week I got in touch with my inner-child...turns out he's a bed wetter!"