People Who Enjoy Introspective Humor Gifts

'I just can't escape the feeling that we're living in an insensitive world.'

Albert Einstein

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"I've switched from talking to myself to talking at myself."

'Don't be too hard on sinners. If it weren't for sinning, we'd all be out of work!'

"It's just a little device I use to help relieve the anxiety from meeting new people."

"Does my brain look big in this?"

"Oh, Stan, I love your sarcastic sense of humor."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

"Nice to finally put a name to the face."

"What's the big deal. . . ? - We've been doing that for years anyway. . ."

"I'm a sucker for group dynamics."

Man sitting on his own at a costume party dressed as a skunk.

'Boy, you know our lives suck when our cable goes out more than we do.'

Anti-Personnel Department

"Hi, Zazz - I think you know everyone present."

"He will be remembered by his Google Assistant."

"Oh, that? It pops up when Bob's social battery runs out."

Jean-Paul Sartre.

"Anyone home?"

Self examination.

"Dear God, Thanks, but this wasn't the more 'me-time' I meant..."

H.M.Customs 'Nothing to declare' 'Articles to declare' 'Genius to declare'

'I think his I.Q. is lower than his shoe size!'

"Somehow, I still feel insignificant."

'HA! I don't have TIME prior to talk words I've already had on think to... speaking.'

'It's a smart TV - it only turns on for Mastermind.'

"I'd like to file a report. I'm trying to find myself."

Marionette

"And how long have you been agoraphobic?"

'Who needs a social life with TV this good, eh?'

"Last week I got in touch with my inner-child...turns out he's a bed wetter!"