Introverted Humor Lover Gifts

Agoraphobics Annual Convention

"Look! No hands!"

'Of course I stretched first. That's how I hurt myself.'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

Gardening Calendar: January - The Snow will be deep now...get out into the garden...

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

'I found the home maintenance manual in the attic. I think it's got mildew.'

"You are still here."

The Hammer

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

Public footpath on a desert island.

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Anti-inflammation recipes

'Where Are They Now?'

'You're a good man, Henderson, but you don't have your staff's respect.'

"I'll have dessert first."

Help! Send fishing tackle!

"Fit the reality to our statistics!"

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

Healthy Eating Casualties

New anti-obesity cookbook.

"I was thinking of joining a parenting class."

A man sits behind a table in a book store with a sign that reads "Take the author to lunch 1 P.M."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

"Just between you and me, he was a road kill."

'The worst part is I'm afraid of the water.'

'The car has power steering... but the driver doesn't!'

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"