Introvert Humorist Gifts

Earl hated his answerphone - 'You have no messages...who'd call you anyhow?'

"Bland, James Bland."

Man sitting on his own at a costume party dressed as a skunk.

'Boy, you know our lives suck when our cable goes out more than we do.'

"I've just joined a support group for boring people."

"Oh, that? It pops up when Bob's social battery runs out."

'Not guilty, Your Honor. And I always speak the truth. You got the wrong guy, no social life and a house full of cats.'

"You'll have to excuse Trevor - he's always been shy."

"Hi, Zazz - I think you know everyone present."

"What's the big deal. . . ? - We've been doing that for years anyway. . ."

"Ah! I've noticed you are social distancing!"

"I'm self-isolating for a few minutes."

"Too crowded. Let's go."

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

She required plenty of personal space.

It's not considered drinking alone if the cat is at home.

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

'A quick pint or a quiet drink?'

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

'How come we never get invited to 'come as you are' parties?'

Brown Non-Recluse Spider

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

'Before you go, introduce yourself, so that I know who you were...'

Big Talk/Small Talk.

A man sits behind a table in a book store with a sign that reads "Take the author to lunch 1 P.M."

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"The joy of the house to myself"

Introverted Chair

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

"I don't want to go back to school; other people are my kryptonite."

'You cant do anything these days without someone suspecting your motives. . . there is only one way out. . . inaction.'

"I work from home because I can’t stand the sight of idiots." "Is that why you got rid of all our mirrors?"