Pensioner With Punchlines Pillows

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Two old superheroes on a park bench feeding the birds.

'Something tells me asking him to delay his retirement may be futile.'

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

The Great Pyramid of Geezers

'Oh my - hasn't he grown!'

"What the hell did you do with your day before I retired?"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"Give it to me straight, doc. Will I outlive social security and medicare?"

'This is how our new no-risk pension scheme works.'

"He was just a year away from retirement."

"Well - that's enough from me, I shall now introduce our Head of Pensions..."

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

Mismanagement Consultant.

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

'Bad luck Harry, they've just raised the retirement age.'

"The bailouts are nice but my retirement remains finding drugs that washed up on the beach."

Old Golfers never die...only those who get in their buggies way!

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"Big choices today Mr. retired board of directors. 2 ply or 3 ply?"

Bad times for retirees.

'The bad news is you've lived well beyond your expiration date.'

"You look good for your age."

"You have reached the samaritans. If you are a farmer press one, a pensioner press two, small business owner press three...."

'I'll teach that social security computer a few things!'

"Look, Honey! No teeth!"

Retirement Age

"Let the minutes show we're not taking the pension fund and putting it all on the 2.30 at Newmarket."

"Change down you fool! You can't hit a hairpin at that speed!"

"Show-off!"