Penpals Pillows

"Mum, Mum! My penpal from Australia doesn't eat insects: she's a bird-eating spider!"

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

Don't be surprised --- They always start out as quadrupeds.

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Letter writing lady.

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

Man with broken leg in cast.

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Meet The Author's Wife. The author is too surly to talk.

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

Deadlines, kill fees. Who comes up with these terms?

"Can I borrow a pen?"

List making as therapy.

I once flew faster than a speeding bullet

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

Be a friend.

Dog bath

Exercise rat race

Mammoth bone and the dogs.

'Well played, sir.'

'Can't you just hand me a plastic worm?!'