Pen Pal Friend Pillows

'Gee, I've never had a pen pal before.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

Letter writing lady.

"Be or be not. There is no question."

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

'You seem very confident this morning.'

Meet The Author's Wife. The author is too surly to talk.

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

"But if I don't learn handwriting, how will I be able to read Grandma's letters?"

Deadlines, kill fees. Who comes up with these terms?

"Can I borrow a pen?"

List making as therapy.

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

Dear Bertha - I'd write more often, but I always seem to be out of ink! Love, Oggy

Mourning Pens

"Dude! I'm writing a letter to my parents. How many N's in money?"

'Are you still sure the pen is mightier than the sword?'

Francois Mauriac.

Convict playing the violin

'Pen no write.'

Writing a letter

MAIL CALL AT THOMPSON, HALVERSON, SPIELMAN & OSGOOD

Postman

"I'm worried about Dad, he's got invisible friends"

The End Of My Pen's Ink Supply Is Nea

'I work on the latest tablet, but deep down I'm still a ball point pen and yellow legal pad guy.'

"Isn't this more fun than those old briefs and contracts and things?"

Paper airplanes drop pen nibs

'You're lucky: I can't have a penpal 'cause we don't have a fixed address...'

Be a pen pal and make someone's day.

Have you ever felt like life was a puzzle? What do you mean, boss? Case in point: 1981. At the behest of my bleeding-heart kindergarten teacher, I became pen pals with one Kovarstvo Prestupnik of the Soviet Union. We immediately began a black market export-import business. I would ship him Twinkies dyed red, white and blue, and he's ship me Gummy Stalins. Fast-forward to 2017. Guess who Vladimir Putin just appointed as his Minister of Blackmailing White House Stooges?

'This is a ball and chain letter.'

"I told the dating service I hated the bar scene. I suppose you did, too."