Penpals Gifts

"Mum, Mum! My penpal from Australia doesn't eat insects: she's a bird-eating spider!"

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"I'm seeing some dominance issues."

"Well, it's disappointing: Young Master seems to use the term 'best friend' for anybody who pays him the slightest attention..."

Letter Collecting Nerd

'Junior's writing has improved. His letters from college pleading for more money, are froceful and flawlessly written.'

Juniors Baby Sitting Service.

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"I know you're scared, but you can do this! Remember that time I had to clean up after you and I didn't have a bag and had to use leaves?! I was so afraid, but I did it…"

'He followed me home. Can I keep him?'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

"Be or be not. There is no question."

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Letter writing lady.

Man with broken leg in cast.

The novel was printed and in the stores ... any minute now, the world would beat down his door.

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Deadlines, kill fees. Who comes up with these terms?

'Hand me the 'desperates'.'

"Can I borrow a pen?"

"Bailey! What part of 'never jump on the Stickley' don't you understand?!"

I once flew faster than a speeding bullet

List making as therapy.

'How do you want me to answer that question, Norm? As an attorney, or as your best friend?'

Be a friend.

Dog bath

Exercise rat race

Mammoth bone and the dogs.

'Can't you just hand me a plastic worm?!'

'Well played, sir.'

"Listen...Tonight I'll decide when I've had enough"