Pen And Sword Strategist Gifts

Man with Sword in Penholder

"I don't understand it! My nerd detector's going crazy!"

That's What Happens

'How do you like my fantasy weekend so far?'

Sweep the board.

"... It's just that, when you said you had a couple of tickets to see the big game..."

'She'll never look for me here.'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Tonight we dine with the devil. But tomorrow we really need to finish what's left in the fridge."

'Some people just aren't cut out for adventure gaming, Bruno — maybe you should try chess or checkers.'

Freedom of the press

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

'I am constantly diversifying my toy portfolio.'

"Have you got any arguments why the world should trust in US policy?"

'With one stroke of his fibre-tipped pen, Cartoonman laid waste to all that was evil...'

"Game of checkers? Okay, but I'm watching every move you make."

Gaah! You sank my longship!

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

'I can not get this game, the pieces all move like cats.'

Noughts and crosses hugging and kissing.

"It's a 12 inch chess board - the game's a foot."

"Damn it, Gwendolyn, you know when you married me I only moved one square at a time."

'Amazing, Holmes! That's the eighth time in a row you've gotten the 'dud'!'

"Sometimes we all feel like we've been tossed. You just have to roll with it."

Competitive tic-tac-toe

Mission accomplished.

'My kingdom for a horse! Are you nuts? How about high yielding mutual funds?'

'If you know what's good for you Allan, you'll let me pass.'

Battleship Bingo Night.

Electronic Abacus

The Thing That Won't Leave

Corporate pirate.