Serpent Strategist Gifts

'Do what I did. Tell your mother you want a pet snake. Then she'll get you a dog.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Bullseye!

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

'Don finally figured out a way to keep the squirrels from getting at the bird feeder.'

Decision Making Block

When cockroaches go unchecked.

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

Saving for Retirement.

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

'I say we try it.'

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'Good - we're finally all on the same rampage.'

'It's a silent protest.'

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

'Let's make it cutting edge...with a traditional feel.'

'I've tied a knot to remind you to feed him.'

Corporate pirate.

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"Costs have risen by 200% and we are behind schedule. We are living up to our acronym gentlemen and I am not happy about it!!"

Game Addiction

"I'm afraid there will be more cuts."

'Narrow my options down to the good, the bad, and the ugly.'

Two steps backwards-one step forward.

'No, you can't write off the cost of your wake-up call service.'

'If my idea is good, I get promoted. If my idea is bad, you get fired.'