Pediatric Care Joker Gifts

'Be careful when you inject him, the frowny face means he's a biter.'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

'It's your four basic food groups.'

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

"It's childhood. Your child has childhood."

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

"Rolling pizza cutter."

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"5 second rule!"

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

'You'll be aware during the entire procedure because our anesthetic has been recalled by the F.D.A.'

"I'd like a second opinion. He followed me home, can I keep him?"

"Any chance that was you who just screamed in excruciating pain?"

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

"Got it!"

"Say, does anyone here know how to tie a sailor's knot?"

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"

'Hope that Medicare will kick in to help with my developing headache pain!'

'No, you can't count an extra olive in your martini as a serving of vegetables.'

"So far, decliners outnumber advancers nine to seven."

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

'The readings look good, but just in case, when was the last time the system was checked for bugs?'

'For an extra $25 we can set the surgical lamps on tanning mode.'

"Fluffy will be giving you rour CAT scan."

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."