Healthcare Joker Gifts

"5 second rule!"

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

Playing Peek A Boo in the ICU.

Doctor tests man's reflexes, wallet comes out.

'It's your four basic food groups.'

"Fluffy will be giving you rour CAT scan."

"I believe I told you quite clearly not to let his stitches get wet."

'The doctors say I'll soon be back on my feet.'

'37 years in a coma? Doesn't time fly!'

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

'Hope that Medicare will kick in to help with my developing headache pain!'

Take your refunds in prescription drugs!

'... I pull the trigger, and band! Down goes the pill. So, Mr. Knox, are you going to take your medication now, or do I have to resort to the Pill-Matic?'

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

'Anaesthetic ok?' - 'Yes, ten double scotches from the pub up the road.'

'Tell the doctor to take his time -- I'm feeling better already.'

"Rolling pizza cutter."

Escaping surgery.

Americas Funniest Bandage Removals.

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

"I'll faithfully follow any diet plan as long as you also prescribe medical marijuana."

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Damn it, nurse! I didn't ask for a twenty. I asked for a ten and two fives."

'I'm going to try that 'vegan' thing, Joe -- give me some beer nuts.'

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

"The good news is that your appendectomy op was a complete success"

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'So did you want the ectomy, or just the otomy?'